The Human Need for Deep Connection

Part III: Solving the Loneliness Epidemic

Sam Chavez
Sam Chavez

Table of Contents

๐Ÿค“ Bite-Sized Knurd: Reconnecting with ourselves and building deeper connections are the main ingredients for solving the loneliness epidemic and building a healthier society.

Read on for moreโ€ฆ

It is completely reasonable in todayโ€™s world that people are more lonely than ever. How many generations have experienced extreme inequality, a global pandemic, an insurrection to overthrow the government, the early stages of regular human-caused extreme weather events, and now a potential world war(??!) all at once?

It can feel overwhelming and isolating, but by reconnecting with ourselves and the people around us, there is hope that we can weather all of these storms.

Deep Need for Human Connection

Humans are social creatures. We need connection to feel fulfilled. But the pandemic has upended that desire. Like any muscle, our connection muscles have atrophied. When we donโ€™t have regular connection, we forget about how transformative it is and we donโ€™t miss it as much.

We need to strengthen our connection muscles again.

Why? โ€“ For starters, do it for yourself, to live an authentic life that you (yes you!) want to lead. Having deep bonds with other humans who can truly see and value you gives us so much:

  • Greater life satisfaction
  • More resilience during trying times
  • Better mental health
  • Better overall health โ€“ youโ€™d be surprised how much our mental health impacts our bodies!
  • A healthier society โ€“ deeper connecting leads to greater empathy which leads to building support systems that support everyone

But itโ€™s not easy, especially in how our society views relationships.

Overcoming the Fear

Building deep connections ask you to be vulnerable, honest, and to set boundaries.

Being honest about our feelings and what we want can strengthen relationships, but itโ€™s also scary. The fear of rejection is real. The status quo can feel fine if you worry about the worst-case scenario.

Butโ€ฆand hear me outโ€ฆwhat if it all works out? What if you open up and you find a deeper connection to your friends, partner, or family? Isnโ€™t that worth giving it a try?

Despite this fear, it can be healthy to lose relationships that arenโ€™t working. Not everyone is ready for deep connection. Those that arenโ€™t in touch with themselves can find it difficult to feel empathy and connect with others. While itโ€™s difficult to lose loved ones, itโ€™s important to ask yourself how your relationships are impacting you. If a relationship is draining your energy, itโ€™s time to rethink how you want to show up in that relationship (if at all). And thatโ€™s ok.

Reconnecting with Ourselves

But the most important connection is with yourself.

It might sound counterintuitive, but alone time is actually a great tool to feel less lonely. Remember, loneliness isnโ€™t about being alone, but the feeling that you donโ€™t feel seen or respected.

Reconnecting with yourself is a powerful tool. The more we know ourselves, our needs, and our dreams, the more we can be open to accepting the deep relationships that truly work for us.

Next Week: A community view of loneliness

The Good Knurd:

Now's your chance to join in on the action! Thoughtful ways to influence change within yourself and your local community.

  • ๐Ÿค” Thought Starter: Of your relationships, which ones do you feel a sense of deep connection? What does each of these people have in common? What do you value most about these relationships? โ€“ Answering these questions will help you prioritize which relationships are truly healthy and identify the qualities you are looking for in future relationships.
  • ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ Discussion: Have a vulnerable conversation with someone. It sounds scary, but practice deep connection by opening up to a friend or family member. You will be surprised what comes out of vulnerable conversations!
  • ๐Ÿซ‚ Community: Brenรฉ Brown has some amazing resources on love, belonging, and the quest for wholeheartedness

Weโ€™d love to hear your thoughts. Leave a comment to share your perspective.

Next Up

A Community View of Loneliness
๐Ÿค“ Bite-Sized Knurd: The Ukraine Crisis reminds us how fragile human life is and how community can bring us closer together to heal the loneliness epidemic and begin to solve societyโ€™s issues. Read on for moreโ€ฆ *Apologies for the short unplanned hiatus. I threw out my back and didnโ€™t think writing an article on muscle relaxers was a wise choice (or maybeโ€ฆ
๐Ÿ—ผ๐Ÿ—ž: Newsletter

Sam Chavez

Sam is a writer, strategist, and curious human. She founded the roots of change agency in 2020. Sam is a queer, white, LatinX activist whoโ€™s passionate about a livable planet & equitable societies.


Navigating heart-first activism & storytelling. We explore the ๐ŸŒฑ roots of our world to support communicators, organizations, and activists ๐Ÿฅต to avoid burnout and ๐Ÿ“š tell empathetic stories that cultivate connections that ๐ŸŒ empower โœŠ๐Ÿฝ social change.

Learn more about the Roots of Change Agency.